So lately I'd been toying with blogging and then facepalmed when I remembered I already had one (and with such a great name too.) So here I am back again, life has settled down for me in some ways and gotten more complex in others, still struggling to redefine who I am in terms of what my body will let me do these days. Especially lately it's been trying as I am having peak pain and sleep issues so I have little time left to me to try and be a productive human being.
So one of the things I have been trying to practice is positive thinking techniques. Like finding the good special pretty you name it in the world around me. So here have been the little things that made today nicer:
Went outside about midday to take my dog outside and in the midst of the large shared backyard area were a group of five or six mule deer bucks who were just starting to clash horns. Mostly they were grazing like buddies like they do most of the year but the bright clack of their antlers knocking together in test fights was awesome and pretty to watch.
early evening went out with dog again, it had just lightly rained. The trees were in full fall splendor, the sun was out, It was just cool enough to see your own breathe but not to feel too chilly. Somewhere someone had a woodfire going I could just get hints of and this sent I can only describe as winter was filling the air. It was one of those moments where you just stop and take in and enjoy.
I had enough energy to take a warm shower and change into nice fresh pjs which felt REALLY REALLY good.
Lastly I had two good Tea moments. I don't do coffee but I do love all kinds of teas and herbal teas. First I had a mug of an old pal kind of tea. Candy Cane Lane (celestial seasonings) is a peppermint tea, soothes an upset tummy like a champ has such a great smell and mellow taste. I refer to a few teas as old pals, you sort of hang out or cozy up to them and you know they'll always make you feel good. :) Later I was still on a hot tea craving so I broke open a new one I had hadn't had before. This was True Blueberries (another celestial seasonings) and man do I LOVE it. I'm not actually a particular fan of blue berries, I like them fine just not a fav. This tea is just amazing though. It smells so good it's criminal and it has a really awesome flavor. It is just the perfect companion to tonight's entertainment. Whil Wheaton told me I had to watch Galaxy Quest again. Okay he didn't so much tell me personally as just point to an online post about it that made me want to see it again. heeheehee.
So I hope all 1 of my readers enjoyed this and will look forward to more posts in the future.
Remember to find those little pieces of happy gum in your own life. :)
Friday, October 5, 2012
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Projects galore and a small kerfluffle
Don't you love the word kerfluffle?? Other than sounding kinda cute and funny it also sounds just like the situation it describes. I had a bit of one at work this last Friday. I was being a busy bee at work when my body decided it didn't like something (we are guessing dust in the warehouse) and closed off my whole throat. I couldn't breathe or swallow, had neck hives, my boss had to call 911, like basically sucked. Thankfully the firemen and paramedics were fast and efficient and they had me in much better shape fast. That was a first for me though and I hope it never happens again.
Other than that actually I've been having a very good week and weekend. Been busy working on projects mostly for sale and some fun things with the hubby.
I week back we made shrinky dinks together, his sister gave us a set for Christmas, it was a moment of full blown whimsy, something I feel there is not enough of. I decided to make our little robots into a garland and hung them with our plants, they are cute and colorful and make me smile!
I also finished a couple doll kits I got, a fairy and a mermaid. The mermaid looks like me strawberry blond hair and everything!! :) These were fun kits I got as part of my Christmas gifts this year. I think they look adorable don't you? Hard to see but the fairy has a cute flower wand and little heart details on her wings and the mermaid's tail is shiny!
I also mentioned Twig the Fairy last week and she commented!!!!! :):) That made me major happy, squee moment. If you like fairies or know kids who do btw she has the most adorable book out about her adventures in the land of real. Plus her calender is just gorgeous. She is sweet and pretty and nice and spends her days making life sweeter for everyone else. I really wish there were more folks like her. If you go to her facebook page you can get your own fairy name, mine ROCKS!!
Other than that actually I've been having a very good week and weekend. Been busy working on projects mostly for sale and some fun things with the hubby.
I week back we made shrinky dinks together, his sister gave us a set for Christmas, it was a moment of full blown whimsy, something I feel there is not enough of. I decided to make our little robots into a garland and hung them with our plants, they are cute and colorful and make me smile!
I also finished a couple doll kits I got, a fairy and a mermaid. The mermaid looks like me strawberry blond hair and everything!! :) These were fun kits I got as part of my Christmas gifts this year. I think they look adorable don't you? Hard to see but the fairy has a cute flower wand and little heart details on her wings and the mermaid's tail is shiny!
I also mentioned Twig the Fairy last week and she commented!!!!! :):) That made me major happy, squee moment. If you like fairies or know kids who do btw she has the most adorable book out about her adventures in the land of real. Plus her calender is just gorgeous. She is sweet and pretty and nice and spends her days making life sweeter for everyone else. I really wish there were more folks like her. If you go to her facebook page you can get your own fairy name, mine ROCKS!!
My fairy name is Violet Whisper Rowan Notchwood
.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶* ✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.✫*¨*.¸¸.✶*¨`*.
(that stuff at the end is fairy dust *giggle*)
Love my name! I know I mentioned before the flower fairies I've been making I have the first one I did using silk flowers, I wanted her to look like an Iris and it is hard to see but she is holding a tiny silver butterfly. I am very pleased with how she turned out, she is only about 3 inches tall. I am thinking of selling some of them on my etsy store. They are addicting to make!
Well I think I've droned on enough for now, more happy gum later!
Kir
Thursday, January 27, 2011
We Are Very Busy People...
I can't help it I love that song, for one thing at least in my case there is more than a little truth to it. No matter what is going on with me I somehow always feel both really busy and like I'm not getting anything important done.
Take my blog for example, you don't want to know how many posts I have written in my head but then I never have the time to actually get them down.
The upside dear reader (I have exactly one follower) lol, is that today is the first of what I hope will be mainly positive posts from here out.
First I thought it might good to explain the goal of my blog, I figure that will help anyone coming in at this early stage decide if they will be interested or not. Mainly I want to use this as a journal and practice for my writing skills. They used to be good but are more than rusty now. I also figure a good chunk of the posts will be about craft related things.
My BA was in Fine Arts and I am now at this point in my life trying to get my art to support me. It is time for me to move to working for myself and my customers and not other people. That being said I still have to eat and have a family so until my career really takes off I am very happy to say I have gotten a job at a scrap booking supply place. Great job and awesome location for me and with some elbow grease this should help my husband and I get to our debt free goal that much faster (we do not for anyone who cares count the mortgage in that).
Health of the family seems to be improving finally and spirits are returning to their positive positions. What a difference in the time since I last posted. Things had actually gotten even worse after I posted but sunshine is finally returning. PHEW!!
So lately my projects have been mainly of the kit variety. For Christmas my very cool in-laws gave me a nice gift card to amazon SHWEET! I have a fondness for kits, I love all kinds of crafts but so many require tools and materials that would break the bank but a kit has everything ready to go for a typically reasonable investment. Also I like following directions, designing rocks in it's own ways but sometimes it is nice to be able to follow a set path so you can just totally focus on enjoying the materials and process. This was a very wordy way of saying I got some craft kits for myself.
I got two different make your own doll kits, a fairy and a mermaid. I have to say that the dolls are very cute BUT, these were made with kids in mind and I struggled with them plus the dolls are VERY fragile so you couldn't play with them. I kinda think a kid would have been very frustrated/disappointed personally. I will have pictures of my two new cuties posted soon.
I also got a kit to make a wallet out of duct(duck) tape. I'm in love!! The fabric this made is so nice feeling and it really looks awesome IMHO. I got a pink one because girly colored manly tape cracked me up. It was the highlight so of the kits so far.
I just got the last of the four kits though, I got the Klutz Flower Fairy kit/book. CUUUUTE!! I so cannot wait to make these little sweeties. Ironically I've never been huge into fairies but I recently found Twig The Fairy (check her out online she ROCKS) and she kinda got me going in the direction. My real love is dragons so I'm hoping the new skills I have from my kits will translate into some cool dragon sculptures.
I'm hoping to sell some of my creations online along with my regular craft products which are knit and crocheted items plus some metal jewelry/chain maille.
For anyone who wants to come check it out and support a gal trying to live her dream ;) come to my Etsy store! www.etsy.com
Well I will leave you for now. I hope to have fairly regular posts, I may even set a schedule I'll post later. I'll also be adding some fun extra features to the blog as I go so stay tuned! :)
Take my blog for example, you don't want to know how many posts I have written in my head but then I never have the time to actually get them down.
The upside dear reader (I have exactly one follower) lol, is that today is the first of what I hope will be mainly positive posts from here out.
First I thought it might good to explain the goal of my blog, I figure that will help anyone coming in at this early stage decide if they will be interested or not. Mainly I want to use this as a journal and practice for my writing skills. They used to be good but are more than rusty now. I also figure a good chunk of the posts will be about craft related things.
My BA was in Fine Arts and I am now at this point in my life trying to get my art to support me. It is time for me to move to working for myself and my customers and not other people. That being said I still have to eat and have a family so until my career really takes off I am very happy to say I have gotten a job at a scrap booking supply place. Great job and awesome location for me and with some elbow grease this should help my husband and I get to our debt free goal that much faster (we do not for anyone who cares count the mortgage in that).
Health of the family seems to be improving finally and spirits are returning to their positive positions. What a difference in the time since I last posted. Things had actually gotten even worse after I posted but sunshine is finally returning. PHEW!!
So lately my projects have been mainly of the kit variety. For Christmas my very cool in-laws gave me a nice gift card to amazon SHWEET! I have a fondness for kits, I love all kinds of crafts but so many require tools and materials that would break the bank but a kit has everything ready to go for a typically reasonable investment. Also I like following directions, designing rocks in it's own ways but sometimes it is nice to be able to follow a set path so you can just totally focus on enjoying the materials and process. This was a very wordy way of saying I got some craft kits for myself.
I got two different make your own doll kits, a fairy and a mermaid. I have to say that the dolls are very cute BUT, these were made with kids in mind and I struggled with them plus the dolls are VERY fragile so you couldn't play with them. I kinda think a kid would have been very frustrated/disappointed personally. I will have pictures of my two new cuties posted soon.
I also got a kit to make a wallet out of duct(duck) tape. I'm in love!! The fabric this made is so nice feeling and it really looks awesome IMHO. I got a pink one because girly colored manly tape cracked me up. It was the highlight so of the kits so far.
I just got the last of the four kits though, I got the Klutz Flower Fairy kit/book. CUUUUTE!! I so cannot wait to make these little sweeties. Ironically I've never been huge into fairies but I recently found Twig The Fairy (check her out online she ROCKS) and she kinda got me going in the direction. My real love is dragons so I'm hoping the new skills I have from my kits will translate into some cool dragon sculptures.
I'm hoping to sell some of my creations online along with my regular craft products which are knit and crocheted items plus some metal jewelry/chain maille.
For anyone who wants to come check it out and support a gal trying to live her dream ;) come to my Etsy store! www.etsy.com
Well I will leave you for now. I hope to have fairly regular posts, I may even set a schedule I'll post later. I'll also be adding some fun extra features to the blog as I go so stay tuned! :)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Welcome to my world, now would be a good time to run.
Well here goes my intro to the blogging world. I'm hopping that this process will be good for me at the very least but it would be nice to think at some point I may touch someone else in a good way... Not THAT kind of good way, sheesh.
My name is Kirsten, I'm a thirty something living in Colorado with a husband, a dog, and a ferret. I love fiber arts (crochet, knitting, weaving, spinning) and I love painting. I'm into anime, Doctor Who, and cooking. I also happen to have PTSD and until recently I still managed to enjoy life and be a fairly positive person.
Things have been on a downward spiral though, as best I can figure I must have been the most horrible person ever in my past life and now I'm paying for it. So for those of you who are meeting me for the first time let' review, and please keep in mind I'm normally a POSITIVE person. I don't enjoy harping on every little thing. I am hoping that doing a little harping here might do me some good.
Okay so let's go back about a year to the end of 2009. I had a very nice job doing tech support for Apple. I had my nice little house and my nice little family and things were just on track. Then I started noticing I was having a harder and harder time doing my job, upset customers were starting to make me upset. (Keeping in mind I had done some form of tech support or other for over 10 years so this was nothing new.) I would get highly angry or very depressed and these reactions kept getting stronger and lasting longer. I finally got taken into the doctor by the hubby when I had a nervous breakdown at work. After some consultation with a specialist I learned that I was suffering from PTSD due to child abuse I had suffered, apparently my brain decided it had enough of pushing past it and threw in the towel. I struggled for a while to keep working while I was getting treated but it finally just got to be too much and the choice was quit or maybe do something I'd regret so I quit.
I have to say at this point it had seemed like the right thing to do. I got work at a local yarn shop which was a dream come true even if it was only one day a week and I was also working part time at a friends clothing store. Sadly we were not pulling in enough income to cover our bills from this, my husband had tried to protect me in my fragile mental state by telling me things were covered but we were starting to rely a bit too much on credit. Still I was hoping to expand my business of teaching fiber arts classes and selling my homemade items online and we might have been okay but then the cascade started.
My husband and I both landed in the hospital about 1/4 of the way into the year. My fabulously clutzy nature led to a broken foot when I was trying to save or stuff in our basement. Yeah the hot water heater went and the drain failed, flood, awesome. Then the dentist informed me I needed major dental work done (we still haven't gotten around to handling that) shortly after which I lost the part time job because my poor friend had to close her store. I started really job hunting at this point, hoping to find something low key to pay our bills and get us on our feet. Between all my tech support skills I no longer want to use and a master's degree that makes me "over qualified" I was having no luck. I was STILL being a positive cheerleader, everything little thing is gonna be allright.... yeeeeaaahhhhh......
Well hello there October, what have you got in store for me? This by the way dear readers is where you might want to look away, to find something else to read about, don't say I didn't warn you.
I was finally able to get hired for a job but it was lot, um, the most socially acceptable, the day before I was set to start it my life just fell apart. My mother died very suddenly in her sleep, no warning, I'm the lucky person who found her, then the new job decided not to wait for me, I accidentally backed into my husbands car with my own, he had to go back to the hospital with a life threatening infection and I re-broke my foot worse, all within about 1 week.
I will admit my positive nature started to fail me at this point. It has been a little less than a month and I have still not been able to find work so I feel like I'm causing the slow financial downfall of my household. My depression is back and worse than ever and I can't afford treatment. I don't qualify for any kind of benefits that I can find either so help there. For loans or other help we are in that special place of either making too much or not enough or having too much or too little debt.
My dear sweet sister gave me a little gift while she was out for our mom's funeral. It is the little item on my blog title and at this point one of the only things left that still strikes me as kinda funny. Happy Gum For Your Crappy life. I only ate one piece so far, kinda reminds me of juicy fruit. This is the kinda thing I normally would royally crack up at. I thought it would make the best blog title ever for someone like me so I wrote the most excellent company that makes it: http://www.blueq.com/ and they said I could use the image. See they rock, and there is one good thing.
Now don't get me wrong I'm well aware lots of folks out there have things even worse than I do. I don't have some false sense of ego that makes me think I should be immune to all this sort of stuff it is just that I'm really starting to feel myself lose it. I can feel the "bad things" starting to win and I've really kind of run out of ideas on how to make things better. I am using this as a scrap of hope, perhaps as I write about what is going on I'll get a new perspective, maybe I'll figure something out I hadn't before. Maybe someone will read this and take pitty on me and give me a job, lol. Maybe someone else who does have it bad will read this and know they are not alone (good) or someone who has it good will read it and realize that and appreciate their situation more (better). Maybe I will manage to find some solutions and writing about it will help someone else (best). I certainly don't have any answers right now, I'm just kinda a lost kid in the world at the moment. Let's hope the gum works.
My name is Kirsten, I'm a thirty something living in Colorado with a husband, a dog, and a ferret. I love fiber arts (crochet, knitting, weaving, spinning) and I love painting. I'm into anime, Doctor Who, and cooking. I also happen to have PTSD and until recently I still managed to enjoy life and be a fairly positive person.
Things have been on a downward spiral though, as best I can figure I must have been the most horrible person ever in my past life and now I'm paying for it. So for those of you who are meeting me for the first time let' review, and please keep in mind I'm normally a POSITIVE person. I don't enjoy harping on every little thing. I am hoping that doing a little harping here might do me some good.
Okay so let's go back about a year to the end of 2009. I had a very nice job doing tech support for Apple. I had my nice little house and my nice little family and things were just on track. Then I started noticing I was having a harder and harder time doing my job, upset customers were starting to make me upset. (Keeping in mind I had done some form of tech support or other for over 10 years so this was nothing new.) I would get highly angry or very depressed and these reactions kept getting stronger and lasting longer. I finally got taken into the doctor by the hubby when I had a nervous breakdown at work. After some consultation with a specialist I learned that I was suffering from PTSD due to child abuse I had suffered, apparently my brain decided it had enough of pushing past it and threw in the towel. I struggled for a while to keep working while I was getting treated but it finally just got to be too much and the choice was quit or maybe do something I'd regret so I quit.
I have to say at this point it had seemed like the right thing to do. I got work at a local yarn shop which was a dream come true even if it was only one day a week and I was also working part time at a friends clothing store. Sadly we were not pulling in enough income to cover our bills from this, my husband had tried to protect me in my fragile mental state by telling me things were covered but we were starting to rely a bit too much on credit. Still I was hoping to expand my business of teaching fiber arts classes and selling my homemade items online and we might have been okay but then the cascade started.
My husband and I both landed in the hospital about 1/4 of the way into the year. My fabulously clutzy nature led to a broken foot when I was trying to save or stuff in our basement. Yeah the hot water heater went and the drain failed, flood, awesome. Then the dentist informed me I needed major dental work done (we still haven't gotten around to handling that) shortly after which I lost the part time job because my poor friend had to close her store. I started really job hunting at this point, hoping to find something low key to pay our bills and get us on our feet. Between all my tech support skills I no longer want to use and a master's degree that makes me "over qualified" I was having no luck. I was STILL being a positive cheerleader, everything little thing is gonna be allright.... yeeeeaaahhhhh......
Well hello there October, what have you got in store for me? This by the way dear readers is where you might want to look away, to find something else to read about, don't say I didn't warn you.
I was finally able to get hired for a job but it was lot, um, the most socially acceptable, the day before I was set to start it my life just fell apart. My mother died very suddenly in her sleep, no warning, I'm the lucky person who found her, then the new job decided not to wait for me, I accidentally backed into my husbands car with my own, he had to go back to the hospital with a life threatening infection and I re-broke my foot worse, all within about 1 week.
I will admit my positive nature started to fail me at this point. It has been a little less than a month and I have still not been able to find work so I feel like I'm causing the slow financial downfall of my household. My depression is back and worse than ever and I can't afford treatment. I don't qualify for any kind of benefits that I can find either so help there. For loans or other help we are in that special place of either making too much or not enough or having too much or too little debt.
My dear sweet sister gave me a little gift while she was out for our mom's funeral. It is the little item on my blog title and at this point one of the only things left that still strikes me as kinda funny. Happy Gum For Your Crappy life. I only ate one piece so far, kinda reminds me of juicy fruit. This is the kinda thing I normally would royally crack up at. I thought it would make the best blog title ever for someone like me so I wrote the most excellent company that makes it: http://www.blueq.com/ and they said I could use the image. See they rock, and there is one good thing.
Now don't get me wrong I'm well aware lots of folks out there have things even worse than I do. I don't have some false sense of ego that makes me think I should be immune to all this sort of stuff it is just that I'm really starting to feel myself lose it. I can feel the "bad things" starting to win and I've really kind of run out of ideas on how to make things better. I am using this as a scrap of hope, perhaps as I write about what is going on I'll get a new perspective, maybe I'll figure something out I hadn't before. Maybe someone will read this and take pitty on me and give me a job, lol. Maybe someone else who does have it bad will read this and know they are not alone (good) or someone who has it good will read it and realize that and appreciate their situation more (better). Maybe I will manage to find some solutions and writing about it will help someone else (best). I certainly don't have any answers right now, I'm just kinda a lost kid in the world at the moment. Let's hope the gum works.
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